← Back to Blog

Good Enough Is Good Enough: Escaping Perfectionism

7 min read

Perfectionism is something many of us struggle with, yet the science of happiness and well-being has revealed powerful strategies that can make a real difference.

Accepting failure as a natural part of growth reduces pressure and builds emotional safety for children.

In this guide, we’ll explore evidence-based approaches to perfectionism, drawing on the latest research in positive psychology and behavioral science. You’ll learn practical strategies you can implement today, backed by studies from leading researchers in the field.

Whether you’re just starting your wellness journey or looking to deepen your practice, these insights will help you make meaningful progress.

Understanding Perfectionism

Before diving into strategies, it’s important to understand why addressing perfectionism is important for our well-being.

Accepting small failures reduces perfectionism and fear, opening space for curiosity and purpose-driven growth. Emotional safety strengthens family connection and supports long-term resilience.

The connection between perfectionism and happiness is well-documented in research. When we actively work on this area of our lives, we often see ripple effects in other domains—from our relationships to our work performance.

Research insight: Accepting failure as a natural part of growth reduces pressure and builds emotional safety for children. (Russell et al., 2016)

Strategy 1: Failure Mindset

Accepting small failures reduces perfectionism and fear, opening space for curiosity and purpose-driven growth. Emotional safety strengthens family connection and supports long-term resilience.

How to apply this:

Spend 15–20 minutes creating a ‘pit the pyt’ ritual: teach the phrase, decorate a small “Let-It-Go” jar, and have each person write one minor mistake to drop in while sharing what they learned.

Strategy 2: Hospitality

Opening your home grows trust and social capital. When the bar is realistic, gathering becomes a repeatable habit that feeds happiness for everyone involved.

How to apply this:

Pick a date, text 2–4 friends with: “Come for a scruffy dinner—bring a side, expect mess, and plan to help chop/clean. Games after!”

Research note: “Allowing oneself to ‘half-ass’ tasks and practice scruffy hospitality reduces stress and fosters authentic connections.” — Berkman et al., 2020

Strategy 3: Self-Compassion

Incremental change is easier to maintain and still boosts well-being. Self-compassion supports autonomy by freeing energy from self-punishment to purposeful action.

How to apply this:

Right now, take 1–3 minutes to replace one harsh self-judgment with a gentle, accurate statement (e.g., “It’s okay to be learning”) and repeat a cue word like “kindness” while you breathe slowly.

Research note: “Micro self-compassion practices can reduce the sting of self-critical thoughts and support more flexible, values-aligned behavior.” — Hendrickson, 2021

What the Research Shows

The strategies we’ve discussed aren’t just anecdotal—they’re backed by rigorous scientific research. Here’s what the evidence tells us:

Key findings:

  • 53% increase in dining alone in the United States from 2003 to 2023: Trend showing rising rates of solo dining, especially among youth (World Happiness Report data cited by Yan Emmanuel Denev)
  • 90% of American families think family dinners are a great idea, but over 50% do not eat dinner together regularly: Gap between attitudes and behaviors regarding family meals (Family Dinner Project research cited by Dr. Anne Fischel)
  • Average American dinner lasts 22 minutes: Used to encourage grace around short meal times (Family Dinner Project data)
  • Parents are twice as likely as children to use gadgets at the dinner table: Technology distraction at meals (Survey conducted by Dr. Anne Fischel)
  • 60-70% of families shared family dinners during the pandemic: Naturalistic study opportunity to observe family dinner dynamics (Research by Dr. Anne Fischel)

Research insights:

Accepting failure as a natural part of growth reduces pressure and builds emotional safety for children. — Russell et al., 2016

Naming and normalizing low-stakes mistakes helps children recover faster and re-engage with tasks. — Russell et al., 2016

Nordic cultures promote balanced achievement without excessive pressure, aligning with higher reported well-being. — Helliwell et al., 2020

Higher social connection tracks with greater life satisfaction across countries — Helliwell et al., 2022

Putting It Into Practice

Knowing the science is one thing—putting it into practice is another. Here’s how to start:

Start small: Pick just one strategy from this guide and commit to trying it for a week. Small, consistent actions compound over time.

Track your progress: Notice how you feel before and after implementing these practices. Awareness helps reinforce positive habits.

Be patient: Meaningful change takes time. Research shows it can take anywhere from 18 to 254 days to form a new habit, with an average of 66 days.

Get support: Consider using tools designed to help you build these habits. Apps like Neurise provide personalized, science-backed recommendations tailored to your specific needs and goals.

Quick-start actions:

  • Spend 15–20 minutes creating a ‘pit the pyt’ ritual: teach the phrase, decorate a small “Let-It-Go” jar, and have each person write one minor mistake …
  • Pick a date, text 2–4 friends with: “Come for a scruffy dinner—bring a side, expect mess, and plan to help chop/clean. Games after!”
  • Right now, take 1–3 minutes to replace one harsh self-judgment with a gentle, accurate statement (e.g., “It’s okay to be learning”) and repeat a cue w…

Conclusion

Improving perfectionism is a journey, not a destination. The strategies we’ve explored in this guide—backed by research from leading scientists in positive psychology—offer a roadmap for meaningful progress.

Remember that small, consistent actions often outperform ambitious but unsustainable efforts. Start with one technique that resonates with you, practice it until it feels natural, then gradually expand your repertoire.

The science is clear: we have more control over our well-being than we often realize. By applying evidence-based strategies, you can make real progress toward a happier, more fulfilling life.

Take the Next Step

Ready to put these insights into action? Neurise makes it easy with personalized, science-backed recommendations delivered daily. Our app learns what works for you and helps you build lasting habits for happiness and well-being.

Download Neurise and start your journey to a happier life today.

Sources

  1. Russell et al., 2016. The Danish Secret to Happy Kids. https://www.amazon.com/dp/191154530X
  2. Helliwell et al., 2020. World Happiness Report. https://worldhappiness.report/ed/2020/
  3. Helliwell et al., 2022. World Happiness Report 2022. https://worldhappiness.report/ed/2022/
  4. The Family Dinner Project, 2023. Family Dinner Project. https://thefamilydinnerproject.org
  5. Berkman, 2023. The Concept of Scruffy Hospitality. https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2023/aug/18/scruffy-hospitality-friendship-food-meals
  6. Hendrickson, 2021. How to Be Enough: Self Acceptance for Self Critics and Perfectionists. https://www.amazon.com/dp/1683645615
  7. Hayes et al., 2011. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jpsychores.2010.11.003
  8. Hendrickson, E. (2021). How to Be Enough: Self Acceptance for Self Critics and Perfectionists. https://www.amazon.com/dp/164739019X
  9. Touhigg & Clarisong, 2021. Values framework as described by Hendrickson.
  10. Hayes et al., 2012. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). https://contextualscience.org/act
  11. Hayes et al., 2012. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: The Process and Practice of Mindful Change. https://doi.org/10.1002/9781118220681
  12. Hayes et al., 2011. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). https://contextualscience.org/act
  13. Hendrickson et al., 2022. How to Be Enough: Self Acceptance for Self Critics and Perfectionists. https://www.amazon.com/dp/0593136030
  14. Berkman, 2023. Meditations for Mortals: Four Weeks to Embrace Your Limitations and Make Time for What Counts. https://www.oliverberkman.com/meditations-for-mortals
  15. Berkman et al., 2021. Meditations for Mortals: Four Weeks to Embrace Your Limitations and Make Time for What Counts. https://www.amazon.com/dp/0062871776
  16. Phillips, 2010. On Kindness. https://www.amazon.com/dp/0300167640
  17. Berkman, 2021. Meditations for Mortals: Four Weeks to Embrace Your Limitations and Make Time for What Counts. https://www.amazon.com/dp/0316461200
  18. Berkman et al., 2020. Meditations for Mortals: Four Weeks to Embrace Your Limitations and Make Time for What Counts. https://www.amazon.com/dp/0316499145
  19. King et al., 2020. Scruffy Hospitality: Embracing Imperfection in Social Gatherings. https://www.jackking.net/scruffy-hospitality
  20. Marcus Aurelius et al., 2023. Marcus Aurelius (Stoic guidance on worry). https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0725QWY3F