Be Here Now: The Practice of Presence
Presence is something many of us struggle with, yet the science of happiness and well-being has revealed powerful strategies that can make a real difference.
Embracing vulnerability and active listening builds trust and deepens social connections.
In this guide, we’ll explore evidence-based approaches to presence, drawing on the latest research in positive psychology and behavioral science. You’ll learn practical strategies you can implement today, backed by studies from leading researchers in the field.
Whether you’re just starting your wellness journey or looking to deepen your practice, these insights will help you make meaningful progress.
Understanding Presence
Before diving into strategies, it’s important to understand why presence matters for our overall well-being.
Feeling seen builds trust and belonging. Listening well also reduces your own self-focus and rumination.
The connection between presence and happiness is well-documented in research. When we actively work on this area of our lives, we often see ripple effects in other domains—from our relationships to our work performance.
Research insight: Embracing vulnerability and active listening builds trust and deepens social connections. (Epley et al., 2018)
Strategy 1: Active Listening
Feeling seen builds trust and belonging. Listening well also reduces your own self-focus and rumination.
How to apply this:
Choose one person today and have a 15-minute chat: ask two open questions, reflect back key points, and share one genuine appreciation.
Research note: “Embracing vulnerability and active listening builds trust and deepens social connections.” — Epley et al., 2018
Strategy 2: Smartphone Boundaries
Face-to-face micro-interactions are key to belonging and happiness. Reducing phone presence removes a major barrier to those moments and makes connection feel easier and more rewarding.
How to apply this:
Try a 60-minute phone-free block during dinner or a walk today; put your device in another room or a closed bag.
Strategy 3: Memento Mori
Remembering life’s finiteness often boosts gratitude and purpose, two reliable levers for well-being. A quick daily practice strengthens intention (autonomy) and helps you savor meaningful moments (positive emotions) and people (connection).
How to apply this:
Set a 5–10 minute morning timer. Sit quietly and briefly reflect on mortality—acknowledge life’s finiteness, imagine today as precious—and identify one meaningful action you will prioritize before noon.
Research note: “Brief, structured memento mori exercises are intended to cultivate gratitude and reduce reactivity, not induce rumination.” — Irvine, 2017
What the Research Shows
The strategies we’ve discussed aren’t just anecdotal—they’re backed by rigorous scientific research. Here’s what the evidence tells us:
Research insights:
Embracing vulnerability and active listening builds trust and deepens social connections. — Epley et al., 2018
People underestimate how positively others perceive them after conversations, encouraging unnecessary withdrawal. — Epley et al., 2018
Limiting phone use in social settings and schools can foster more face-to-face interaction and reduce loneliness. — Dunn et al., 2019
Presence of phones reduces smiling by about 30% in social settings. — Dunn et al., 2019
Putting It Into Practice
Knowing the science is one thing—putting it into practice is another. Here’s how to start:
Start small: Pick just one strategy from this guide and commit to trying it for a week. Small, consistent actions compound over time.
Track your progress: Notice how you feel before and after implementing these practices. Awareness helps reinforce positive habits.
Be patient: Meaningful change takes time. Research shows it can take anywhere from 18 to 254 days to form a new habit, with an average of 66 days.
Get support: Consider using tools designed to help you build these habits. Apps like Neurise provide personalized, science-backed recommendations tailored to your specific needs and goals.
Quick-start actions:
- Choose one person today and have a 15-minute chat: ask two open questions, reflect back key points, and share one genuine appreciation.
- Try a 60-minute phone-free block during dinner or a walk today; put your device in another room or a closed bag.
- Set a 5–10 minute morning timer. Sit quietly and briefly reflect on mortality—acknowledge life’s finiteness, imagine today as precious—and identify on…
Conclusion
Improving presence is a journey, not a destination. The strategies we’ve explored in this guide—backed by research from leading scientists in positive psychology—offer a roadmap for meaningful progress.
Remember that small, consistent actions often outperform ambitious but unsustainable efforts. Start with one technique that resonates with you, practice it until it feels natural, then gradually expand your repertoire.
The science is clear: we have more control over our well-being than we often realize. By applying evidence-based strategies, you can make real progress toward a happier, more fulfilling life.
Take the Next Step
Ready to put these insights into action? Neurise makes it easy with personalized, science-backed recommendations delivered daily. Our app learns what works for you and helps you build lasting habits for happiness and well-being.
Download Neurise and start your journey to a happier life today.
Sources
- Epley et al., 2018. Liking gap research. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167218769848
- Dunn et al., 2019. Reducing Mobile Phone Presence Increases Social Interaction. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31072091/
- Epley et al., 2014. The impact of social interaction on happiness. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24635312/
- Putnam, 2000. Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community. https://www.amazon.com/dp/0743209386
- Brem et al., 2016; Irvine, 2017. Research on mortality awareness and Stoic practices.. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2352250X16300014
- Irvine, 2017. Stoic Challenge by William B. Irvine.. https://www.amazon.com/dp/0691178653
- Harmon-Jones et al., 2008. Experiments on death awareness in college settings.. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jesp.2008.06.002
- Michelle Hastie Thompson (psychology practitioner insights). Mechanisms discussed: mindfulness during play; inclusive, low-barrier social engagement.
- Vaillant et al., 2002. The Harvard Study of Adult Development, 75-Year Study of Happiness and Health. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/12505799/
- American Psychological Association, 2021. Stress in America (APA) Survey. https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/stress/2021/report
- Hanson, 2011. Just Good Manners. https://www.amazon.com/dp/1906817978
- DeSteno et al., 2016. Research on rituals during grief (Jewish Shiva). https://doi.org/10.1037/pas0000342
- Family Dinner Project (practice guidelines). Family Dinner Project. https://thefamilydinnerproject.org
- Fishel (survey). Family Dinner Project / Dr. Anne Fishel. https://thefamilydinnerproject.org
- Family Dinner Project (program practices). Family Dinner Project. https://thefamilydinnerproject.org
- Cohen et al., 2015. The impact of reflecting on core values on life outcomes and well-being. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26025036/
- Cuddy et al., 2012. The nourishment of power: How power affects negotiations and presentations. https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/13506285.2012.674444
- Smith et al., 2014. Power and perspective taking: The role of power and the self. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0036217
- Dunn et al., 2015. Prosocial savoring research. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26185116/
- Epley et al., 2009. Prosociality paradox research. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19994419/
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