The Helper's High: Why Giving Back Feels So Good
Prosocial Behavior is something many of us struggle with, yet the science of happiness and well-being has revealed powerful strategies that can make a real difference.
Writing handwritten thank you letters produces a measurable, lasting boost in happiness for both sender and recipient.
In this guide, we’ll explore evidence-based approaches to prosocial behavior, drawing on the latest research in positive psychology and behavioral science. You’ll learn practical strategies you can implement today, backed by studies from leading researchers in the field.
Whether you’re just starting your wellness journey or looking to deepen your practice, these insights will help you make meaningful progress.
Understanding Prosocial Behavior
Before diving into strategies, it’s important to understand why prosocial behavior matters for our overall well-being.
Prosocial behavior fuels connection and meaning. Honoring others builds trust and belonging—key ingredients of well-being and resilient relationships.
The connection between prosocial behavior and happiness is well-documented in research. When we actively work on this area of our lives, we often see ripple effects in other domains—from our relationships to our work performance.
Research insight: Writing handwritten thank you letters produces a measurable, lasting boost in happiness for both sender and recipient. (Seligman et al., 2005)
Strategy 1: Respect
Prosocial behavior fuels connection and meaning. Honoring others builds trust and belonging—key ingredients of well-being and resilient relationships.
How to apply this:
Pick one upcoming interaction and create a five-point ‘honor the other’ checklist (be on time, match the dress code, learn/use their name, follow any host preferences, plan your thank-you) and commit to it.
Research note: “Etiquette practices that honor others foster respect and strengthen social bonds, which are key to well-being.” — Hanson, 2010
Strategy 2: Social Anxiety
Small, low-stakes conversations build belonging and social confidence. Over time, these moments compound into stronger networks and more frequent positive emotions.
How to apply this:
Today, start one friendly conversation with a dog owner—offer a sincere compliment or ask the dog’s name.
Strategy 3: Prosocial Behavior
Prosocial acts increase connection and meaning while buffering stress. When parents help each other, communities grow stronger and loneliness shrinks.
How to apply this:
Text a nearby parent to offer a 15‑minute childcare swap (or run a quick errand for them) this week, and propose a time.
Research note: “Asking for and accepting help enables others to engage in prosocial behavior, which increases their happiness and strengthens social connection.” — Dunn et al., 2016
What the Research Shows
The strategies we’ve discussed aren’t just anecdotal—they’re backed by rigorous scientific research. Here’s what the evidence tells us:
Key findings:
- 48% of parents report overwhelming stress on most days: Survey data comparing parents to 26% of non-parents reporting similar stress (Parents Under Pressure public health advisory)
- Nearly half of nurses and a quarter of doctors reported burnout severe enough to consider leaving clinical practice: Healthcare worker burnout illustrating caregiver stress beyond parenting (Health Worker Burnout Advisory (2022))
- Over 150 million people have died from tuberculosis since it became curable: Historical mortality burden of TB (John Green’s book and discussion)
- Approximately 10 million new TB cases and 1.25 million deaths annually: Current global TB incidence and mortality (John Green’s discussion)
- 50% reduction in TB rates following unconditional cash transfers in Brazil: Impact of poverty alleviation on TB incidence (Brazil study referenced by Laurie Santos and John Green)
Research insights:
Writing handwritten thank you letters produces a measurable, lasting boost in happiness for both sender and recipient. — Seligman et al., 2005
Etiquette practices that honor others foster respect and strengthen social bonds, which are key to well-being. — Hanson, 2010
Dogs serve as social catalysts, making it easier to start conversations and build community bonds. — Friedman et al., 2020
Service dogs and trained companion dogs can help veterans re-engage socially and improve quality of life. — Hawkins et al., 2016
Putting It Into Practice
Knowing the science is one thing—putting it into practice is another. Here’s how to start:
Start small: Pick just one strategy from this guide and commit to trying it for a week. Small, consistent actions compound over time.
Track your progress: Notice how you feel before and after implementing these practices. Awareness helps reinforce positive habits.
Be patient: Meaningful change takes time. Research shows it can take anywhere from 18 to 254 days to form a new habit, with an average of 66 days.
Get support: Consider using tools designed to help you build these habits. Apps like Neurise provide personalized, science-backed recommendations tailored to your specific needs and goals.
Quick-start actions:
- Pick one upcoming interaction and create a five-point ‘honor the other’ checklist (be on time, match the dress code, learn/use their name, follow any …
- Today, start one friendly conversation with a dog owner—offer a sincere compliment or ask the dog’s name.
- Text a nearby parent to offer a 15‑minute childcare swap (or run a quick errand for them) this week, and propose a time.
Conclusion
Improving prosocial behavior is a journey, not a destination. The strategies we’ve explored in this guide—backed by research from leading scientists in positive psychology—offer a roadmap for meaningful progress.
Remember that small, consistent actions often outperform ambitious but unsustainable efforts. Start with one technique that resonates with you, practice it until it feels natural, then gradually expand your repertoire.
The science is clear: we have more control over our well-being than we often realize. By applying evidence-based strategies, you can make real progress toward a happier, more fulfilling life.
Take the Next Step
Ready to put these insights into action? Neurise makes it easy with personalized, science-backed recommendations delivered daily. Our app learns what works for you and helps you build lasting habits for happiness and well-being.
Download Neurise and start your journey to a happier life today.
Sources
- Seligman et al., 2005. The Effects of Expressing Gratitude on Well-Being and Life Satisfaction. https://doi.org/10.1037/1089-2680.9.4.202
- Hanson, 2010. Just Good Manners. https://www.amazon.com/Just-Good-Manners-William-Hanson/dp/1905784009
- Friedman et al., 2020. This Dog Will Change Your Life (Penguin Random House). https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/612736/this-dog-will-change-your-life-by-elias-weiss-friedman/
- Hawkins et al., 2016. The Role of Service Dogs in Veteran Rehabilitation. https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2016.00928/full
- Murthy et al., 2021. Parents Under Pressure: Public Health Advisory on Parental Mental Health.
- Murthy, 2022. Health Worker Burnout Advisory (2022).
- Böhm et al., 2018. Collective Efforts for Sustainability: A Way to Increase Well-being. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12671-018-09200-8
- Soares et al., 2010. Unconditional Cash Transfers and Tuberculosis Rates in Brazil. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jhealeco.2010.06.011
- Kumar & Epley, 2022. Journal of Experimental Psychology: General — underestimation of kindness benefits. https://doi.org/10.1037/xge0001245
- Epley et al., 2022. Research on social connection and appreciation. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jesp.2021.103483
- Boothby et al., 2018. Psychological Science — The Liking Gap in Conversations. https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797617748283
- Holt-Lunstad et al., 2010. PLoS Medicine meta-analysis on social relationships and mortality risk. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pmed.1000316
- Dunn et al., 2016. Prosocial behavior and well-being research. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0272494416301206
- Epley, 2014. Prosociality paradox research. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S002210311400138X
- Dunn et al., 2014. Does Spending Money on Others Promote Happiness?. https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797614527299
- Epley et al., 2009. What is a ‘prosociality paradox’?. https://doi.org/10.2139/ssrn.1356810
- Dunn et al., 2015. Prosocial savoring research. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26185116/
- Epley et al., 2009. Prosociality paradox research. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19994419/
- Ryan et al., 2009. Self-Determination Theory: Basic Psychological Needs in Motivation, Development, and Wellness. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev.psych.59.103006.093633
- Aknin et al., 2013. Prosocial spending produces happiness. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0033938
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